I can begin to see how important getting better is for me and for my family's sake because they do care for me more than I realized and allowed myself to realize wholeheartly (through negative past hurts).
I also realize that some people from church do care about my health & wellbeing; Not all people from church might but I don't have to accept any negative stuff from anyone, and can lean on those who uplifts me and does care. I can walk away from anyone who might make a negative remark, or know it's just their opinion and that we all are entitled to them.
I know that _I am_ capable to make schedules and stick by them, yes I accept that there will sometimes be interruptions in life that will knock my schedule to the ditch BUT that's Life and its not a constant thing and if it is it will only make me stronger as I can learn to adapt to those situations; I have that control.
I know now that I can regulate my sleeping habits, I can control when I awake or go to sleep. And realize how important sleep is; and also that I can get up with my wife and have breakfast with her or even make breakfast some mornings.
I know the importance of taking my medications on time and staying up to date with it, and calling the chemist and getting my prescriptions, and also the Chemist knows me by name and greets me with a smile.
I know I am in control of my Physical and Mental wellbeing and there is nothing wrong in asking for help from others.
Yes I can do things as working with wood, making jewellery or even writing a blog or talking with a friend on the internet, Yes others might can do the same as me but this isn't about them its about what Billy Cockrell can do and is capable of doing; and if don't know how; find out how from online or personal friends.
I can manage and or limit my time in doing things if it becomes too much.
I can manage or limit myself in any situation such as church and other activities, taking it one step at a time; one foot in front of the other one. Or as my youngest stepson says keep my chin up.
I realize the past is the past but sometimes it will bring up its ugly head in situations I am in or whatever, but I can get through it and I have family and friends as backup to help me through it; if I open up and tell them.
I will remember that not all people are alike, they might have similarities but they are not the same person and also over years people can change; just like I did over time, and also just because someone might be rude to me doesn't mean I have to be rude back or let them control my emotions.
I realize I might be partially deaf in both ears, have crooked legs or can't do certain things normal people might can but I CAN do things that Some People cannot do. I have Great Support !!
I am in control of Billy Cockrell, I am Billy Cockrell,noone can hurt me or ruin me unless I allow it to happen, which I ain't. I am loved by many, I can do great things, and I know that I can get through it all ! That's my New Beginning and Never Ending !! Bill Cockrell